Discipleship is simply teaching our children to follow Christ. Knowing how to disciple your kids intentionally AND spontaneously are important aspects in raising your kids to know the Lord.
As you raise your children, sin nature becomes noticeable at an early age. Often, we end up seeing it, instead, as “just part of being a kid.” And that is true. However, from a biblical worldview, it is the evidence of the fall of man shining through their tiny little image-bearer persons. Our kids need discipled from the beginning.
Prepare Yourself for Discipling with the Gospel
Often, as Christians, we can get swept up in the things of life and forget that WE need to hear the Gospel and be reminded of the redemptive work of Christ in our life. Perhaps you are in an overwhelming or busy season of life and have neglected time in prayer and don’t have time in the Word like you used to. Maybe you can recall a time you felt especially weary and stressed, and then someone pointed you to Christ and reminded you of your eternal hope.
Or, the Holy Spirit is working on you and convicting you of sin in your own life. And you, through the Gospel message, are reminded of the One who lived a perfect and sinless life, bore the punishment of sin and died on a cross for YOU; defeated death and conquered the grave, and has ascended to heaven, seated at the right hand of God until He returns again!
You need to be reminded to look to Christ. That He alone is your righteousness. Nothing you did or didn’t do earned your salvation. It was a gift of grace, freely given, because He loved you before the foundation of the world. And nothing you do or don’t do today can change that because it wasn’t on your merit to begin with!
What a beautiful and wonderful thing to dwell on! And what a life-giving message of hope to the ones we love. We absolutely should be sharing and applying this Gospel message to our kids through daily discipleship.
What IS Discipleship?
Discipleship is the process of following and learning from a teacher, or the state of being a disciple, or follower of Christ. Simply put, you are teaching your kids what it means to follow Christ. From building their worldview biblically by teaching them how to think with Scripture, to shaping their character with biblical truths and habits.
Discipling Even Your Youngest Children
Discipleship is for all, including our smallest of children. They are born whole persons and capable of understanding so much more than we often give them credit for. Discipleship at the youngest age might look and feel more like discipline. When your small child misbehaves, much of your time will be spent redirecting and disciplining. The means of discipline is a whole other subject that at this point I will say to do your own prayerful diligence as parents to determine your philosophy around that. However, not every moment at this age is appropriate for much talk around the bad behavior. Instead, you will mostly be forming good habits and teaching obedience that will give context to verbal discipling as they grow.
Don’t be tempted to use things like “Don’t make God mad” or any other kind of fear-mongering as you are disciplining and discipling your kids. In this age group or as they get older. As they grow in a household that teaches them about God, they will encounter God’s holy wrath against sin and perfect justice in Scripture. But we should be shepherding their hearts towards grace and mercy. It is wise to point out and teach God’s Law of the 10 Commandments, but then follow up with Jesus and the Gospel.
Intentionally and Spontaneously Discipling in the Toddler & Preschool Years
Instead of discipling in the moment of discipline, use storytelling and quiet moments to teach the Gospel as it applies to their life. Teach them as a family to read God’s Word, pray, worship, and serve.
Model through your personal daily spiritual life what it is to pray continually and in all circumstances, learn earnestly, worship joyfully, and serve lovingly.
Read a good story Bible to your little ones, and incorporate Bible stories in your play time.
Then as you encounter a moment to disciple your kids spontaneously and to share an application of the Gospel throughout the day, your children have context and an idea to relate it to.
“Do you remember how we read about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. How they were faithful to God and to do what was right even when others didn’t want him to. We, too, should always try to do what is right and what glorifies God. He loves his children so much that He sent His Son to die for our sins. We can’t earn our way to heaven by behaving, but we CAN show our love for God by following His commands and doing what is right in His eyes.”
This is also a great age to teach your kids scripture to memorize. Perhaps your little one really struggles with lying. As soon as they can talk, you can sing and learn scripture together to help them with their sin nature. Putting any verse to a tune makes memorizing it very easy and quick. Just think how fast they learned Baby Shark.
Daily Discipleship Through the Elementary Years
Building on the foundations of the younger years, you will begin to see fruit as your kids have built connections to scripture passages and applications in their life. In this age group, their faith and spiritual growth become more their own. Perhaps in these years, by God’s grace, they will even experience God’s redemption personally and profess Christ!
With older age comes bigger situations to disciple your children through. Friendships and peer relationships come in. Sibling relationships take on a new dynamic. They have their own ideas and opinions. Then come hormones and puberty! Oiy! You get the idea.
Keeping the Gospel integrated in conversations is crucial for building your kids’ biblical worldview. They encounter and notice more the sin nature of others. Being able to converse lovingly about these situations will help your children to see the need for the Gospel for everyone. And the beauty that the Gospel IS for anyone.
Practical Discipleship in the Elementary Years
Watching our boys navigate these years with the seeds planted in earlier years has been a sweet and humbling experience for me. They are not without sin. Nor are their father or I! However, some of the best conversations of Scripture, Jesus, the holiness of God, and the wretchedness of sin have happened in this age group.
What has been helpful for our family the most is having a broad feast of biblical wisdom and character to discuss through Scripture, biographies, and literature. Reading examples of humility, grace, courage, wisdom, and serving have conveyed ideas from Scripture to our children in ways that we couldn’t.
The same concept I mentioned in the earlier years applies continually. It just gets deeper and more personal as they grow. Having encountered these examples in the Bible or through biographies and literature gives them context to relate how the attributes of Gospel apply in everyday life situations and circumstances.
A Few Tools for Discipling in the Elementary Years
This is a great age to give them books referred to as Spiritual Formation in the Charlotte Mason circles. Biographies can become your child’s teacher in a way. These have been introduced as family read alouds like with the Christian Heroes: Then & Now series or Trial and Triumph: Stories from Church History.
Family worship time is also influential in your kids’ lives. Time together in prayer and praise, and reading God’s Word creates an intentional space for them to grow in their understanding of who God is and who they are because of Him. We have really enjoyed The Ology, as well as Old Story New and Long Story Short as a tool in our family worship time.
When our boys reach the age of 13 or 14, and considering their maturity, we give them a personal read-through-the-Bible plan. Our desire is for them to HEAR the whole word of God. This is a guided journey so that we can navigate the difficult passages together, but the pace gets them exposed to the whole metanarrative of Scripture. Then, through things like church sermons and Bible study, family worship, personal Bible reading, spontaneous discipleship and character development, and so on, new things will jump out at them because they have heard the story of God’s redemptive plan.
Daily Discipleship Through the Teen Years
If you have been discipling your children from the beginning, then you are just building on the foundation that you have laid. Deepening your child’s theology and Bible study skills become more of your focus in these years. Introducing Christian autobiographies and theology books like R. C. Sproul’s Chosen By God are more tools you can use. But just because your teenager does well on his/her own, doesn’t mean that you just hand them a book and send them on their way.
They still need to be a part of family worship and discipleship. It is also a wonderful way for them to practice sharing their faith. Talking to their younger siblings about Scripture and what they are learning help make sharing their beliefs less intimidating in outside circles.
Another great option is getting your teen involved in a group Bible reading plan with either you and your spouse, or with a small group of friends from church. You help them build good habits of daily Bible reading on their own with a little accountability from friends. And how great is it to see them growing their friendships around the living Word of God!
A Few Tools for Discipling in the Teen Years
My tried and true favorite is The Bible Recap. It is a yearly reading plan that takes you chronologically through Scripture and then RECAPS it with cultural, contextual, and theological ideas helping to add some clarity and highlighting how it all points to God. This is a solid resource for you and your teen to use!
I mentioned R. C. Sproul earlier; any of his books will be wonderful for your teen. He is very gifted at teaching theology and Scripture in a way that helps you to understand.
A few other books and resources we have used:
The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges
The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis
How to Read the Bible Book by Book by Gordon Fee & Douglas Stuart
Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis
If you want to find more resources on your own a great place to start may be asking your pastor. It would be recommended for you to preread or read alongside your teen if you haven’t read the book yourself. You want to be discerning in the materials you put into your child’s hands as much as possible.
Discipling is Relational
The big takeaway here is that discipleship is relational and ongoing. Even if, by God’s grace, your child makes a profession of faith at a young age, that doesn’t mean your job is done. On the contrary! The Christian life is a lifelong pursuit and we as parents are gifted with their earliest years teaching them what that means. It is the duty and delight of the Christian family to make discipleship the heartbeat of your home.
Remember to keep it simple, keep it continual, and keep it Gospel-centered!
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