Dating your husband doesn’t end at the “I do.” There is great joy in the lifelong pursuit of the man you married. Here are 7 reasons why you need to date your husband.
Isn’t Dating Just For the Beginning of a Relationship?
Yes, and no. Dating is defined most widely as…
“a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other’s suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the category of courtship, consisting of social events carried out by the couple either alone or with others.”
Wikipedia definition
You start out dating in order to get to know each other. To determine if the way this person thinks, acts, does, believes, is suitable for you to enter into a covenant marriage relationship with. Now that you are in that covenant, does the rest just work itself out?
I am here to tell you that maintaining that covenant is a beautiful and lifetime pursuit of that person. By the grace of God. There will be challenges, difficulties, arguments, misunderstandings, and hurt. However, the hard work is worth it.
Some of that hard work is remembering you married a person; an image bearer of God. He is continually growing and working out who he is as that image bearer. Don’t you want to be a part of that as well?
7. Date Your Husband Because He Works Hard for the Family
Sure, you work hard also. No one is doubting that. Whether you currently stay home, or are working outside the home also. But let me tell you, there is something in his DNA that drives him to provide for his wife and family. A strong desire to be your everything.
He is also out there fighting dragons. Well, maybe not scaly, fire-breathing ones. But dragons in the form of problems to solve, the darkness of the sin-filled world, maybe temptations, and who knows what else. Every time he leaves the haven of home he is out there facing countless battles of varying scale.
The first reason to date your husband is because it tells him you still desire to know him more and that is a reason that makes every battle worth the effort.
6. Because It Keeps Your Kids Happy
When your children grow up in a home witnessing a healthy and happy marriage between their parents they are blessed with a sense of security. So many couples fall prey to putting the kids first. It can be really easy to do! They depend on you for everything. As infants you make every effort to quiet their cries and satisfy their need. As toddlers into everything you are running on fumes trying to keep them alive from themselves during the day and convincing them that sleep is good at night.
Each new season of raising children presents new challenges that can quickly cause division between spouses. From lack of sleep in both parents, disagreeing how to discipline a child, running kids to every new things they are signed up for. The list goes on.
Kids who grow up in homes where the parents are always fighting, never show affection for each other, or never spend time together, struggle in many different areas. They also will likely have a difficult time dating or enjoying their marriage later on due to the lack of a healthy model.
However, in a home where the mom and dad prioritize alone time time together, model handling conflict well, show affection for one another, and laugh together, these kids experience security, confidence, and a happier childhood.
Go ahead, kiss your husband like you mean it. Flirt with him in front of the kids. Put them to bed early one night a week. Let them see you watching him from across the room like when you were in the early years of your relationship. Your kids will appreciate a healthy display of your love and affection for your husband, and that is one of the reasons to date your husband.
5. Date Your Husband Because You are Still Growing Old Together
Growing up did you have friends who found out during their teen or college years that their parents were divorcing? Maybe there was always tension bubbling under the surface in their homes. The parents decided that they didn’t have to keep trying “once the kids were grown.” They claimed, “We just aren’t the same people we were when we got married.” Or they “fell out of love.”
Just like in reason number 6 to date your husband, you have to remember that loving him now and continuing to pursue him is investing in your future together. One day it will be just the two of you again. The kids are out of the house living their own lives and you don’t want to look up from their childhood years and make eye contact with a man you used to know but don’t really know him anymore. You were too busy idolizing motherhood and prioritizing your children instead of making the most of your marriage.
Ouch. That may seem like a harsh reality, but I know I don’t want to enter into our empty nester years and find out I don’t know the man I share my life with the way I used to. You want to look forward to those years of growing old together because you have spent the earlier years investing time and patience and love pursuing one another.
Keep dating your husband for a long life of enjoying your golden years together.
4. It Reminds Him Who He Fell In Love With
You’ve “grown up” from the time you were just kids dating. Your responsibilities and life lessons you have experienced have likely made you wiser, more mature, maybe a little more serious. Goodness, maybe you are just generally more tired than you were in your younger years. Understandably so!
How much more, then, do you deserve to spend one-on-one time with your husband being able to relax, laugh, play, or talk together. Carving out time to do this; to be playful together, reminds you both who you fell in love with. I have some sweet and simple ideas for dates that can really give a nostalgic feel to your courting days; to take you back to the simple days of love and getting to know one another.
Its fun and beautiful to look back on your relationship with the lens of your years together and remember how it all began.
3. Date Him Because of Everything You Have Been Through Together
I don’t know about you, but there are distinct moments in my marriage that I can look back on and remember how much more I love my husband because of what we weathered together. Each birth of our children, navigating financial hardships, losing loved ones, seeing new things together, buying and selling homes that held parts of our story. Each experience we went through together, by God’s grace, brought us closer together.
By dating your husband continually throughout your marriage you are building on each of those experiences you have been through together. They become building blocks to a stronger relationship rather then fractures that weaken it.
2. Pursue Your Husband Because the World is Pursuing Him
This concept was something spoken to me at a mom group years ago and it stuck with me. You don’t have to think hard for all the ways the enemy is tempting people to fall into sexual sin. And unfortunately he doesn’t have to work hard at it because of our sin nature. No one, believer or unbeliever, is completely immune to temptation. Only Jesus lived a sinless life.
Remember those dragons I talked about in reason number 7 to date your husband? Some of those dragons are chasing him; from pursuing his time to keep him away from his home and family, to pursuing his eyes to lust. Whichever way you cut it, he is under hot pursuit in this world. Are you thinking about how you pursue him?
Does this mean you have to dress sexy and try to control his activities on his calendar? No, but you do need to make sure he knows you are interested in him. That you appreciate him and want to be around him. When he comes home, do you greet him warmly with a kiss and ask him about his day? Or do you not look up from what you are doing, only to give a lukewarm hello or a task to do?
Dating your husband is important because being pursued by the woman you love and do everything for makes all the pursuits of the world dim in comparison.
1. Date Your Husband Because it Glorifies God
How does my marriage glorify God? This is the number one reason to date your husband and make much of your marriage. One of the pivotal ways that we glorify God is how we reflect His purpose for marriage. Scripture describes marriage as between a man and a women as one flesh. And He tells us how it reflects Christ and His bride, the church in Ephesians 5:22-33.
Marriage also reflects the Trinity; the Godhead who made man in His own image. Voddie Baucham explains it beautifully.
By making much of your marriage, dating your husband continually, and living a bold and beautiful, biblical marriage, you bring glory to God.
In conclusion, dating your husband doesn’t end at the “I do.” There is great joy in the lifelong pursuit of the man you married. Keep your eyes on Christ, take every opportunity to point one another to Jesus and His grace, and deeply enjoy the little things together. Not only does it speak of the love you have for one another, but it reflects the love of God for His people, His bride, the Church. It is a living testimony of the love of God.
How do you specifically pursue your husband? I’d love to hear your story in the comments below.
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